“Our most invisible chains are those we cannot see–those society puts around our wrists with a smile and says are for our own good.”
The Unasked Question Career Ladder was there when I fell, offering support when life seemed chaotic, while promising stability when life felt unstable. Yet you never asked what my passions were or took time out to assess if my heart was genuinely invested in the job at hand.
I remember the first time I met a hiring manager with nerve-wracking excitement; his eyes lit up at my credentials: degrees, internships and “potential.” Yet when I timidly brought up how writing gave me life–it made me feel alive, he chuckled. “That’s a nice hobby of yours, but let’s focus on your real career*
Hobby. A word which condescends passion into something trivial that we should outgrow over time.
“Leela Who Wrote in Secret” There was a woman, let’s call her Leela, who worked as an accountant by day and wrote poetry at night in secret. Family and colleagues thought writing poetry was a waste of time; colleagues suggested she stick to numbers instead; yet in those quiet hours when others slept, her words came pouring forth onto paper unfiltered by any filter whatsoever.
Years later, when her company downsized and she lost her job, poetry proved to be the one thing that saved her. A small publisher discovered her writing and quickly made it their livelihood; those who once mocked her now saw it as inspiring!
Why must we wait for tragedy to allow ourselves to enjoy what we do?
Emotions in Nature
A forest never asks the river why it flows; birds never explain their song. But women are expected to describe themselves: why they write, paint or want more in life.
Our emotions are like an ecosystem, delicate yet interdependent. If we suppress any one aspect, the others become compromised. While a career may provide food for the body, passion nourishes our souls – denied its true calling will always ache no matter how far up the ladder one climbs.
I knew a dancer who abandoned her stage for the corporate desk. Over time, she drifted through life like an invisible ghost until one day when she came upon a street performance and got pulled into dancing on the pavement by music that struck a chord within. Crowds applauded and dropped coins; none could see that their presence had helped to strengthen her invisible armour and give her wings.
Society forces women into leading lives they didn’t choose: one filled with duty: being the perfect employee, daughter and mother is expected of us, and in turn, our desires get shoved aside and forgotten, but never entirely disregarded.
But what of the life we desire, which sets our pulse racing, and we would pursue it even if no one paid us or thought it foolish? This is our lifeline when everything else falls apart.
“I used to think success meant having titles and salaries, until I lost my job and realized success wasn’t about acquiring material things, it meant finding what kept me sane when there were none left; for me that meant baking; with its warm cinnamon aroma filling my home while the dough softly rolls between my fingers baking was my refuge.”
“The Strength They Don’t See, Loving something deeply has an invisible strength to it that doesn’t shout but endures, holding it together even in turbulent times.
People questioned Riya when she decided to quit her law firm and open a pottery studio, asking, “Why throw away such a secure career?” But when the pandemic hit, and offices closed down, pottery quickly became her solace, then her business. Her hands that once wrote contracts now wield clay tools instead; shaping clay gave her new strength.
The Love That Keeps Us Alive
As children, we are taught to pursue stability without joy and to seek approval but without authenticity, thus leading us down paths which take us higher but never back home.
Imagine that success wasn’t defined solely by how much money we earned but also by the level of fulfilment we experience while doing something we love. Perhaps writing, dancing, baking and creating aren’t distractions but essential ways of life.
An artist once shared with me, “After years of performing at corporate events with songs I didn’t care for, one night, while singing my lyrics at an unpaid cafe gig, I felt at ease with myself for the first time.”
At its heart lies the magic of loving what you do – not only does it provide sustenance for the day-to-day tasks at hand, but it can even transform who you are as an individual.
Dear Career Ladder, I Have an Admittance
Dear Career Ladder,
I want to tell you something: As I diligently worked my way up your rungs and sacrificed for it all those years ago, you never asked if I was content.
Now, I’ve learned to pose questions to myself.
Answer? “Both!” [the security you provide and my passion].”
Because a woman is more than her job, she is her love, art and quiet rebellions – so if she must climb, let it be towards something that brings out the best in her.
Give her the freedom to define success for herself.
Allow her to be herself.