“My Wildflower Daughter: Lessons from Soil, Storm and Spine”
One day, my daughter, you will walk into a room and feel everything shift, not because of hip sway or eyeliner alone, but simply from your energy walking ahead like a silent lioness.
Before that day comes, allow me to present you with a map of how I have become the woman you see before you today, someone who whispers into trees, cries openly without shame, fails forward without despairing, and laughs mid-breakdown like it’s nothing.
This is not advice; rather, this is a journal entry written with earth and instinct in mind.
The Soft Power of Stones
Young me thought strength meant physical aggression; now I realise its expression may be subtler; sometimes strength may even remain unseen.
Like moss growing in the shade. Like silence before a thunderstorm.
Do you understand what strength looks like?
“Silence” means staring down my phone, ready to text someone who hurt me, but opting instead for silence. It means saying, “I’m not okay”, without needing someone else to fix my problems, and switching your mind without shame.
Strength isn’t about hard edges. Instead, it comes from knowing when and how to remain still like a stone while being soft as petals and choosing both approaches when necessary.
“They will try to break you,” the world warns. To which you may respond with, “I bend. I don’t break; I compost.”
It’s funny how they don’t expect women to use pain as fuel and transform it into power and fertiliser.
Humiliation, Hormones & Hilarious Comebacks
Let’s talk about crying in parking lots.
One day, when PMSing, I dropped my favourite pastry. In anguish, rs rolled down my cheeks as though my beloved croissant were my emotional support dog.
One man walking by stopped, looked, and said, “It’s only food.”
“So are you, technically. Should I cry harder?” was all she could manage before wiping my nose with my sleeve.
Humour, my dear, is the clown makeup of queens. We wear it both to conceal ourselves and as an effective strategy.
Laugh through awkward situations. Revel in laughing when you fall to your knees or make progress with one eyelash remaining and an optimistic dream in mind.
Womanhood will present its share of hormonal storms and foot-in-mouth mishaps; learn to handle this chaos gracefully.
Sensuality Is Not a Performance
After finishing my dishes and the house had settled down, I danced barefoot around the kitchen without music; just the sound of my breath and the buzz of the refrigerator was enough for me.
“I wasn’t trying to be provocative; rather, I was simply mindful of having a body.”
Darling asserts that sensuality isn’t defined by how others view you; rather, it lies within how fully we inhabit ourselves.
Wear red lipstick because it makes your soul flirt with its reflection. Touch yourself to remind yourself, “Hey, I’m still here.” Take your time shaving (or not); let your locks grow out freely or braid them neatly; all of it can only enhance your beauty and sense of self. All forms of self-expression are beautiful.
Should someone attempt to reduce you to simply being a body, smile and tell them:
“You haven’t even met my mind; already you are behind.”
Ambition Is Your Inner Fire: Nurture It
I used to worry that people might call me too loud, too determined, too opinionated, all things I was afraid would put a mark on my character.
So I subsided. I donned muted colours. My sentences ended in questions, and I apologised profusely for existing efficiently.
At first, I did not recognise my intimidating nature until someone told me so.
As I replied to them, I told them, “Good. I am not a marshmallow; I am a meteor.”
Here is the truth: Ambition is sacred. It’s what drives you awake at 3 am with an idea and what prompts your dreamers to say, “Take that one step further!”
Make the space you desire your own. Light it up. Invite others in.
Ambition doesn’t oppose humility; rather, it complements it and serves its unique purpose.
Just don’t do it unreasonably: when it comes to wanting, any amount is just enough! Don’t try too hard; your needs and ambitions will meet them exactly where they need to.
Emotional Weather and Feeling Everything
Your body is an ecosystem, not an emotional state.
Sometimes, joy will burst forth like champagne; at other times, grief will take the form of an unsettled fog and obscure your vision.
Both perspectives are valid: humans exist within weather systems.
People may tell you, “You’re being too emotional.” To this, offer them an umbrella before dancing away your tears with gusto!
When you cry, don’t hold back, express it and feed your soul. When you’re angry, don’t lash out; channel that energy into a painting, poem or boundary creation project instead.
Emotions are like storms; they come and pass, but sometimes, their power can even nourish us.
Unlearn the language of your emotional sky, and never again will you feel lost.
Ecology of the Self: You Are a Forest
Let me share with you something the world often overlooks:
Your life is made up of different pieces, not one singular entity, but many connected parts that contribute to its composition.
You are strength encased in beauty, dirt beneath the nails of divinity. Your decline and regeneration are allowed and encouraged, you are compost and bloom.
One year, I became so exhausted I was no longer capable of writing, cooking, or caring. Instead, I lay on the floor and stared up at the ceiling, doing nothing.
And do you know what? My period of stillness was instrumental in planting the seeds of my next bloom.
Nature doesn’t bloom all year, so why should you?
Honour your winters; they make spring possible.
Becoming: The Woman Within the Girl
There’s already a woman sitting inside of you patiently sipping wisdom like tea.
She knows when it’s best to speak softly or sound the alarm; she doesn’t fear ageing, rage, or rejection.
She is not perfect; instead, she is formed through experience, love, loss and laughter.
Your life doesn’t depend on you becoming someone overnight; instead, remembering each step along your journey helps.
Every decision, every heartache, and every breath we take are like brushstrokes on an art canvas.
Do not fear what is still unfinished; instead, embrace your role as an “artwork in progress”.
Control is a Joke (and You Are the Punchline)
Here’s something I didn’t learn until after suffering multiple disappointments:
Life is an unpredictable dance.
Life will surprise and throw off even your best intentions.
Once, I planned the perfect vacation. I purchased all of my swimsuits. Unfortunately, the day before leaving for my trip, I developed a sinus infection and spent it sneezing while wearing a sarong.
What I remember most fondly is laughing on a balcony with tea and tissues while writing horrible haikus about mucus.
Control is like an unprovable mythical creature: ride it if necessary, but don’t be taken by surprise when it unexpectedly falters.
Let go. Surrender with style.
Sisterhood and Solitude: Both Are Important
Hold onto those women who love you fiercely like sacred relics—soup when you are feeling down, or memes, when things spiral downwards, can bring comfort.
There will also be times of solitude when silence does not represent space but instead holds all your thoughts and aspirations for growth and personal discovery.
One time, I spent an entire month not answering anyone’s calls or returning any calls, instead opting to spend my time hiking, reading, and creating art. People began worrying.
But I was fine; my hair was being rewoven.
Do not fear being alone; use it as your refuge rather than an avenue of punishment.
10 Things Your Legacy Can Include
Not always can we know the effects of our actions; like trees, we leave behind seeds in areas we may never revisit.
By speaking your truth, you foster courage in others.
By saying no, we create space for someone else’s eyes.
By keeping a smile in your mind during times of difficulty, laughter reminds those watching that survival can bring beauty.
Legacy isn’t defined by statues and trophies alone; instead, it demonstrates how deeply your roots nourish future generations.
A Mother Who Raised Her Daughter
So, my wildflower girl, unleash your inner rebel. Let yourself grow tangled. Radiate joy. Make waves.
Be like the moon: complete and unapologetically alive. Remain calm on the surface but powerful beneath. Like a tree, be grounded, giving, and unapologetic about living your best life!
And when someone inquires:
Who taught you how to be like this?”
Tell them you know a woman who communicates with trees, dances alone in kitchens and laughs like thunder during stormy conditions.
Doing this will allow the person who’s holding onto that warmth to spread it further. Eventually, they may leave because you are the source of warmth that they can seep into their lives.n kitchens and laughs like thunder during stormy conditions.
Doing this will allow the person who’s holding onto that warmth to spread it further. Eventually, they may leave because you are the source of warmth that they can seep into their lives.