There was once a time she couldn’t laugh like that; her laughter would come between approval ratings and polite apologies, whispered secrets like secrets into conversations without ever speaking them outright; she loved a man who told her he would always be better than me.
At that time, she believed him.
His compliments fell like weekend monsoons: loud, dramatic, and often followed by cleanup efforts.
“You’re stunningly beautiful for someone who doesn’t work out.”
“You’re such an intelligent individual; all I wish is that you tried less to be right all of the time.”
“You’re too independent… that’s why no one will help.”
Emotional gaslighting was taking place while she, the dutiful protagonist in this one-sided drama, stayed too long expecting an event that never came.
Leftover Pizza and Liberation
“I’m not hard to love. You’re just out of practice.”
Her real awakening didn’t come during a breakup; instead, it occurred three weeks later on a Wednesday when leftover pizza and Netflix provided her with liberating moments of awakening. Sitting cross-legged on the couch, bra off, hair in a rebellious bun, she gazed upon a wine glass larger than any of her trust issues as her trust issues surfaced for discussion.
She was watching a show where the female lead had been dumped but miraculously recovered by the end of the sixth episode.
“Nobody just glows up,” she replied to the screen, wiping pizza grease off her leggings. People often have to work at it; they grind away, cry out their sorrows, seek therapy sessions, block numbers from unwanted friends, or unfriend aunties who keep asking too many questions before they start to bloom again.
And that was when she paused. “Wait a damn minute,” she exclaimed while munching away. “What if I don’t find better? Or become better?”
Glow-Up Goals and a Gym Membership
“Yes, I’m high maintenance. Because I maintain myself.”
She took drastic action the next day: she signed up for a gym, not with any intention to achieve six-pack abs or become an Instagram thirst trap, but because she wanted the independence to carry her groceries without calling him first.
Day 1, she entered the gym like a warrior.
Days 3 and 5, however, were far different experiences: on Day 3, she cried during mid-plank; and then 5, she attempted to fake an injury and escape, while on Day 10 saw she flexed in front of a mirror and almost asked herself out.
The real change came not through physical training but from internal discipline. Where once she used discipline on others for relationships, now it was used inward. She realized strength wasn’t just measured in terms of muscle tone or burpees but by saying no to people who only loved what they saw of her rather than accepting who she was.
The Great Wardrobe Purge
Over the weekend, she decided her closet needed to reflect who she truly was. Out went beige clothing, such as “he liked this on me” dresses or ones where a friend complimented it on her; in came red silk pants that made her feel like an executive with stiletto heels and sin.
While mid-purging, one of my friends came by and asked: “Why are you throwing away all of these comfortable clothes?”
She held up her stretched-out T-shirt as though it were her rent payment: If this shirt has seen more than one tearful outburst over men in its time, then it needs to go.
No longer did she dress to draw attention; now, every outfit was an expression of intent, with some days soft and flowy and others bold and borderline criminal being made statements of power that were always uniquely hers.
Dating Herself
“I’m not waiting on a prince. I’m building the castle.”
For six months, she did not date anyone, not because no one asked, but simply because she was busy getting to know herself better.
She went out for movies, laughter filling the theatre.
She booked a solo beach vacation where she bathed under the sun.
Finally, she took dance classes without regard for rhythm but simply for joy.
She became adept at dining alone at restaurants without her phone or any phony texting she became comfortable eating with just herself, her fork, and herself ,with an emphasis on fabulousness!
One night, a waitress asked whether anyone was waiting, and she wanted to know if someone needed anything.
She smiled. “Nope. I’m already here.”
Men, Missteps and Miracle Realizations
“Rejection is just redirection… usually to wine or wealth.”
She also attempted dating again – recovering doesn’t mean staying home all the time.
There was the man who thought “sapiosexual” was some sushi. Another called himself an “alpha male” yet couldn’t parallel park. And a third who ghosted her… then attempted to come back six weeks later with “Hey stranger.”
“Sorry, this number has changed,” she replied via text message.
She didn’t become bitter; instead, she became aware that what was needed wasn’t someone to rescue her but someone who wouldn’t need time or help to restore their self-worth.
One friend inquired, “So… You aren’t heartbroken anymore?”
She responded unapologetically: “No, babe. I’m not broken. He just wasn’t strong enough for me.”
Reunion at a Wedding
To our dismay, the former flame had unexpectedly reappeared at a mutual friend’s wedding!
He approached her with the confidence of someone still thinking they had VIP status and said something like, “You look different.” To her relief, she, sipping champagne, responded that no, she looked the same: you just never saw me before.
He leant forward and asked, a bit too directly: “Do you ever think about us?” Upon hearing that reply, he leapt forward:
She glanced thoughtfully back at him and replied: “Only when I need motivation at the gym.”
She left, her hips swaying as though freedom were playing a tune in the background.
Becoming Better
She never found “better” elsewhere – nor did she need to. Instead, she became better herself, not only in tangible but also sacred ways.
She became the type of woman who didn’t chase energy.
The kind of woman who accepted rejection like red lipstick. Who forgave herself faster than anyone else did. And most importantly, One who laughed loudly ate cake with her fingers and spoke to plants like they were coworkers.
She transformed into the type of woman who doesn’t just play at being feminine she reclaims it!
Sensuality was no longer for validation; instead, it became an expression of her quiet confidence. Whether in sarees like goddesses or boxing gloves like gladiators, she embraced every desire without subduing them, inviting them instead.
One evening, she advised her younger cousin:
Never shrink for love. Instead, let it grow to fill you up.”
New Kind of Love
Finally, someone came along. Not to fix her but to appreciate the mosaic heart she had been gifted with.
No one could match her power; instead, he complimented it. Without asking her to lessen herself, he brought more to the table without fearing or feeling threatened by her fire; instead, he met it head-on.
But here’s the thing: she didn’t need him; she chose him – and that made all of the difference.
What She Knows Now
“Do you remember when he said you would never find someone better? Now you do!”
She laughs out loud as though everyone in the universe were laughing along with her.
“I didn’t find better; I became better.”
Better still, she was still there.
This article is for all those women who are going through breakups. I see you and understand you. Please note that! I am a gym freak, but never dated any men!