When I woke up one morning and thought: You know what would be cool? I’m declining 76 potential soulmates because they only said one word about me.
No, darling. This isn’t arrogance – this is evolution!
Today’s world can be overwhelming; “WYD” can often be considered foreplay, and emotional availability is hard to come by in groups of friends. Not being selective would be regarded as extreme; let me show you why being selective is more than just brilliant: It can provide spiritual flex points, too! So pull up a velvet chair and let me explain why being selective is more than a wise decision; it can become part of your spiritual practice, too!
I Have Transitioned From “Red Flags to Color Palettes”
At one time, I mistook intensity for intimacy – in particular, when someone responded, “Haha, ur crazy”. Now, though, my perspective has evolved beyond decoding “hey” with three y’s to reading love languages like the fine print on legal documents.
Now? A man sends me “k“, and I respond by keeping quiet.
Why am I here?
Because I’ve grown tired of building castles with people who arrive with plastic spoons and call it architecture if we can’t have an intelligent dialogue without using emoticons as placeholders for words, we aren’t compatible – I want a partner, not another puzzle to piece together!
I Cannot Acknowledge Free Plans
Listen, I feel things deeply and vividly; my affection doesn’t come in trial versions – I remember how you take your coffee, the name of your sister’s cat, and your irrational fear of escalators!
So when someone says, “Let’s just see where this goes,” I reply that it will likely end up in the recycling bin unless intentional action is taken to divert it.
Would you trust someone who thinks ghosting is just another communication style with access to my emotional WiFi password?
Not; my bandwidth is sacred.
I Am Committed, With Sanity
Let me share a small anecdote: Once, I dated someone who didn’t believe in umbrellas. He told me it was just rain; “it doesn’t need protection”. Eventually, I left because his behaviour made no sense at all – his eyes glazed over with irritation as we stood together like some shampoo commercial!
He didn’t believe in therapy, accountability, or taking his shoes off in my apartment. One night, after three weeks of silence, he texted me, “u up?” at 2:47 AM; my reply: “Yes, emotionally, but not for you.”
That was when it hit me: I am not picky; instead, I refuse to date metaphors with legs.
I Prefer Crystals Over Crying Over Half-Texted
Maybes It’s What’s not fleeting? Inner peace.
Who else knows what it means when they believe that texting you every two weeks equals creating something significant?
Yes, I light incense. Journal. Meditate. I sometimes cry, not because I’m lonely but rather because I refuse to compromise the poetry written deep within my soul for someone still trying to learn what “commitment” means.
I’m picky because I have seen what happens when people receive only partial love.
I Know My Worth, It Doesn’t Reassert
Someone once asked if my standards were too high, to which my response was: No, your self-esteem is too low.”
Boom. Believe me when I say this: after years of making bad connections and encountering red flags, I know exactly what’s being served on my table. You wouldn’t walk into a Michelin-star restaurant and ask, “Why no dollar menu?”
Therefore, I don’t chase; instead, I curate. If this means more solo dinners for me to attend, then bring on the menu and wine list!
I Am Selective Because Love Is a Language, and I Speak it
And this language doesn’t simply translate to “I love you”. Instead, it includes:
“How can I support you today?”
“I remembered something you said three weeks ago and was struck by its profundity.
“Let’s cultivate, not simply travel.
I want someone who will listen and build, someone who won’t vanish when things get real and won’t run when I show all sides of myself, messy, moody, or majestic.
I don’t consider myself to be alone; instead, I haven’t found someone with whom to share complete sentences and full feelings.
Because I Have Been the Flame, Ash, and Phoenix
Allow me to tell you a tale. Once upon a time, I was dating a man who used to joke around about how emotionally expressive, passionate and emotional I could be. Essentially, he told me, “You’re too much.” I once experienced such rejection from that relationship that it became hard for him to cope.
So, I began shrinking and laughing less and feeling less until one day when I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the girl who used to dance through thunderstorms and write poetry during her dreams.
Now? I am trying to be too much, on purpose.
If I make you uncomfortable by being candid and honest? Good. That’s called sunscreen; it should cause some pain before protecting from harm.
I Am Building My Legacy
Building a Life is Not About Romance.
My goal here isn’t romance alone; rather, it is all about alignment. My ideal partner should act as co-architect to my life design rather than needing help finding their feelings through Google Maps.
I want laughter that reverberates through time. Mornings that start right with shared silence and Sunday coffee. A love that can exist without filtering its effects through filters.
Yes, I am selective. After all, I want a partner who will help build an unshakeable home together with me.
Selective Doesn’t Mean Guarded, It Means Grounded
Let me be clear: I love big. I laugh loudly. And I believe in butterflies and boundaries.
I don’t build walls – I set standards.
I don’t play hard-to-get; instead, I choose not to engage with those I can’t trust. And while I may avoid love altogether, that doesn’t mean settling for the best versions of it.
My ideal partner would not require instantaneous love but instead one that tolerated my quirky ways and said: “Stay.”
Final Word
Why Being Selective Is My Superpower I’ve become selective out of an experience of heartbreak because, too often, people date “potential,” only for them to end up burdened by emotional baggage that wasn’t even theirs.
My love isn’t casual; it’s couture. And my taste doesn’t apply to just anyone.
As a musician in an ever-noisy world, I prefer music that lasts. Actual music that resonates beyond the first chorus.
And until that comes around, I’ll continue thriving and loving myself while sipping tea from a mug that reads “Emotionally unavailable for nonsense.”