Every family gathering has its rituals. From plates clinking together to overly salty casseroles to that question being posed by an expert in your family, it can all become exhaustingly familiar after a while!
The Dreaded Question,
“When are you going to settle down?”
Your mouth stops mid-bite as you give in to Auntie’s famously dry turkey, and you smile. Not the “I’m about to cry” smile or the “I will set this table ablaze” one; more like the “Oh darling, you have no idea what ‘ settling’ even means” smile.
However, what counts is rooting, like a redwood in its soil, rather than an ornamental plant in a pot.
The Myth of Settling (and Why It Is an Impractical Gardening Strategy)
Once upon a time, an attentive relative quietly reminded us that time wasn’t getting any younger. She pointed out:
Your response was to say something like this: “Neither are the stars, yet they still illuminate our planet and make life possible.”
However, you didn’t. Women have been taught to remain polite even if their souls are screaming poetry.
“Settling” implies life is a checklist – partner, house, 2.5 children and an unchewable pup (lies). But isn’t life more of an ecosystem?
Forests don’t rush to become lumber. Rivers shouldn’t apologise for carving canyons. And women shouldn’t feel they must squeeze into some predefined mould of “enoughness”.
Women Are Strong (Or, How Bamboo Survives Hurricanes)
There’s a reason bamboo bends during storms but rarely breaks: its strength lies not in rigidity but in resilience.
Recall when you lost the job that defined you. After crying in the shower and planting basil on your fire escape (where all dignified breakdowns should happen), your initial dream quickly died – but instead, a new dream flourished within yourself.
Or when you walked away from a love that fit like tight shoes–beautiful but painful? Someone said you were being picky when, in reality, you wanted to say: No one’s too alive to pretend I don’t exist.
Women’s strength often manifests itself quietly: in journal entries written at midnight, after heartbreak, laughter, or by simply refusing what doesn’t nourish her.
Sensuality & the Art of Blooming on Your Terms
Sensuality goes beyond silk sheets and dim lighting; instead, it refers to how we navigate life–how we manage our hunger in this world.
Remember the Tuesday when you danced solo in your kitchen to an unknown rhythm? How about ordering dessert first on a date, simply for fun?
One friend once suggested, “Don’t you wish you had someone to take care of you?”
“Honey, I am someone.” You smiled knowingly.
Women who embrace their sensuality are like flowers that bloom without needing permission; they know their bodies should not serve as an apology for what’s going on inside.
Ambition-The Quiet Rebellion
Ambitious women often come off as cute until competition arises. At that point, ambition becomes aggressive.
Remember when you pitched your idea at work? A man repeated it louder and got applause; all of a sudden, you wanted to stand up and say: “Wow, your echo has amazing ideas!”
But you didn’t. Instead, you made your table!
Ambition does not equal greed – it means resisting any attempt to limit or starve yourself from reaching your full potential. Like a vine reaching for sunlight, ambition encourages growth toward something rather than away from yourself.
Because Hearts Aren’t Monochromatic
People often criticise those who express emotion sincerely as though feeling deeply is an inconvenience rather than something worth cherishing.
But here’s the truth: emotions aren’t weakness–they’re necessary parts of existence. A woman’s heart isn’t composed of just one hue–there are numerous shades–some bright, others dark–that contribute to making up her identity, and all are necessary parts.
Society tends to attribute emotional depth too negatively, inferring that men tend to have passion while women may appear overemotional and needy. Yet what if this depth were an evolutionary advantage?
Think of it like this: A desert needs not too little rain, and an ecosystem thrives due to saturation; similarly, the emotional range does not exceed needs and should adapt to individual women’s circumstances.
Remember how it felt to hold your friend’s newborn for the first time and feel yourself overcome with emotion when the reality of life hit home? Maternal hormones didn’t cause your tears; instead, they came as an unexpected reminder that we live only once in this fragile existence.
Emotional depth is like that; it doesn’t just respond to one story, it reacts to all. From an older man feeding pigeons in the park to couples arguing quietly on the subway car or seeing how sunlight filters through your window at golden hour–these stories don’t just cross your mind–they resonate within.
Are our emotions burdensome at times, or is that what makes us human in a world which often seems to prefer robots over people?
Rage (And the Art of Joker Smiles) Now there is anger: that slow-burning volcanic variety which boils up when someone tells you to “smile more.”
Your options may include complying, smiling like an unimaginative Stepford wife and moving on. Or… you could tilt your head, widen your eyes, and give him the full-on Joker grin–so that he may shuffle away behind his desk (even though that didn’t happen. Just the way you imagined it did.).
Anger, when used mindfully, does not lead to chaos; instead, it enforces boundaries. Anger acts as an inner voice, saying no one should shrink me and tell me how I must live my life.
So, When Will You Settle Down?
As mountains settle and tides stop moving, so too will the winds cease their howling efforts and let you rest easy.
Before then, however, you’ll continue your wild, unbridled growth without fear or apology for anything less than completion.
Because a woman like you doesn’t accept less.
She ascends. When Auntie asks again? She rises.
“When I’m good and ready, please pass me some wine.”